Blog

The #1 Thing You Must Ask All New Mums

I’m going to cut right to the chase with this post. I am going to be extremely vulnerable and put myself out there and be seen. I hope that in doing so, this will help other mums too.

The transition for motherhood has not been an easy one for me.

I am dealing with postnatal anxiety, which feels like it is impacting every aspect of my ability to cope as a parent, and as a person. I am seeking support from professional services and have an amazing support network in place.

I love my son so much and feel grateful for him every day.

There is just one thing I ask all those out there that have a friend or family member that is a new mum (or even a second on third time mum).

ASK HER HOW SHE IS GOING – REALLY

And ask her this BEFORE you ask about the baby.

She may say she is “fine” and that is OK. Not every person wants to go into the full extend of their psyche. And most often we have trouble asking for help.

But just ask the damn question.

Drop off a meal, groceries, or other personal care products, without her having to ask. Leave it at her door and send her a text message to let her know you are thinking of HER not just her baby.

Call her and talk to her and don’t ask about her baby for the first 10 minutes of the call. Never ask her if she has a “good” baby, or if the baby sleeps through the night. These questions are annoying and dumb.

A new mother is going through a massive change. She has lost her identity, her interests, her paid job, her hobbies. and she has gained a huge responsibility, a job that does not have immediate gratification, no time to figure out her own needs and wants and desires.

So as lockdowns start to lift and you want to visit your first who had a baby during the pandemic, maybe ask to hold her first.

Blog

The 6 Secrets to Better Sleep For Tired Mums

By Guest Blogger – Narelle King at Simply Happy

About to become a mum? How exciting! There are so many amazing new things that come with newborns. It comes with some pretty big challenges too, one of which is the rollercoaster of change to your sleep. Strap yourself in, it’s time to get prepared for changes to your sleep, and learn how to maximize your Zzzz’s in those first few months. 

It can be a huge adjustment to get your head around having little control over the amount of sleep you get each night. It’s something you can’t get around, and have to accept there are going to be some big changes. Newborns wake throughout the night, so you need to adjust to getting up throughout the night and having your sleep broken up. It takes a few months for your newborn to establish a day-night cycle. This can be the trickiest stage for new mums. You might be used to a daily routine, staying on top of your housework, meal prep, socializing or taking time out for you. Routines go out the window with newborns, but that doesn’t mean saying goodbye to self-care.

With a new baby, I found myself sacrificing sleep for more time. It was a quick-fix, but the lack of sleep created more problems than it solved. But why is sleep so important, and what can you do to maximise quality sleep as a new mum?

Why sleep is important

When you sleep, your body goes into recovery mode. A good night’s sleep leaves you revitalized and well prepared for the next day. It can help with mood regulation and maximizing social experiences. Good sleep even helps you consolidate memories and behaviours. If you skip out on good sleep, you’re not giving your brain the chance to put everything together from your day.

A lack of sleep has physical impacts beyond just low energy levels. It can raise your core body temperature, leading to physical problems like inflammation-related conditions, autoimmune disease and allergies. It can weaken your immune system, leaving you susceptible to bugs. Lack of sleep contributes negatively to mental wellbeing and anxiety. It makes overcoming the challenges of a newborn baby much harder. 

There’s no quick-fix for getting sleep as a new mum. But while your priorities have to change, your health and wellbeing is still an important priority. A little bit of quality sleep goes a long way during those first few months. Here’s some ways to do it:

Sleep in the day 

You might feel like you have a million things to do and they should get done when your baby is asleep. It’s very tempting to try and do chores, wash dishes, do laundry and clean floors when your baby is asleep. One thing I’ve learnt is to accept that your house might not be perfect, or you might have to put off some items on your to-do list. Sleep and self-care is more important! 

It’s OK to have some sleep when your baby does, because once they are up, you have to be up too. Broken sleep is better than none, and naps can help you catch up on some sleep. While the easiest and best sleep time is overnight, taking any window during the day to catch up on lost sleep will really help.  Early afternoon is a great time of the day when your body naturally wants to go to sleep.

Sleep during the day doesn’t come naturally to all of us. Make sure your bedroom is set up for sleep – blocking out light with heavy drapes helps, as does making it quiet and comfortable.  Eye masks and ear plugs are a cheap way to block out light and loud background noise. Keep your phone off, or at least out of arm’s reach, so you’re not tempted to distract yourself from sleep.

Establish a night ritual for yourself

Create your own sleep ritual. It can be hard to turn on and off sleep to fit your newborns schedule. While your sleep ritual may have to be flexible, it’s still a great way to get your body ready to rest. One or two hours before you plan to go to bed, start by turning off your phone and TV and dimming the lights. Do relaxing activities away from screens like having a bath, reading a book or listening to calming music.

You can build cues that your body associates with sleep. This can be an activity, music, lighting or a relaxing scent. Use the power of essential oils to create a relaxing atmosphere. It’s also a way to begin to associate the relaxing scent with bedtime. When you smell lavender, your body will subconsciously begin to wind down. You’ll be off to sleep in no time!

Watch what you eat and drink

Your food intake can make a big difference to your sleep. Maintaining a healthy diet can seem like a huge challenge as a new mum, but there are little things you can do to improve your health. Try not to substitute sleep with food. When you can, take the opportunity to get that quality energy from sleep. Food can’t replace that energy.

A big challenge is to watch your sugar intake. If you tend to rely on sugar hits to get you through the day, start replacing your sugary snacks with more energy-efficient snacks like nuts, yoghurt and whole foods. This is particularly important in the afternoon and evening. You don’t want a sugar-high stopping you from getting to sleep!

Stop having caffeine after 12. Caffeine can make your mind more active when it’s time to switch off. When the productive part of your day is over, give your body a rest and leave the caffeine for another time.

Ask for help

If you love to be as organized and efficient as I do, this step can be hard. I know asking, or accepting, help from others may feel challenging. You don’t have to go through the big changes of new motherhood alone, there are plenty of people to help you with the adjustment. Whether that’s family, friends or outside help, it can free up some time for you to take care of yourself. If your body is screaming out for sleep, but you can’t find the opportunity to rest, someone else might be able to free up that opportunity for you. I’m sure they’d love to help. 

Practice Nidra yoga

Nidra Yoga is a sleep-based, conscious guided meditation. Don’t let the word yoga put you off! There are no yoga poses or physical exertion. You’re lying in a comfortable position and covered with a blanket. Your body sleeps while your mind is awake taking in the guided instructions. It’s complete REST for both your mind and body. You get all the benefits of meditation, as well as sleep. 

Yoga Nidra encourages rest by using breathing, triggering the relaxation response. Your nervous system is calmed and your thoughts slowed down. The hormone serotonin is released to help you feel more relaxed. Practicing Yoga Nidra for just 20-minutes is the equivalent rest of an extra 2 hours of sleep. Getting to sleep and staying asleep is also improved with a regular Yoga Nidra practice. It can be a great tool to have as a new mum, and can be used any time when you have a few minutes to yourself!

Try Yin Yoga

Yoga is known to be a relaxing, healthy and spiritual practice that can improve flexibility and strength. As a new mum, it can be a way to take time for yourself and reconnect with yourself. Yin Yoga is a quiet practice that slows down movement and focuses on a spiritual connection with your mind and body. Instead of flowing through active movements, Yin Yoga involves holding deep poses for longer periods of time. A pose may last a minute or two, or even up to 5 minutes.

By slowing down your mind and body during Yin Yoga, you are gifting your body with gratitude and relaxation. Yin Yoga releases stress, worry and unease. This can have lasting benefits with your mental wellbeing, well beyond the end of the practice. 

Yin Yoga is also physical. By holding deep strengths, your body’s tissues lengthen and release, leaving your muscles feeling as though they have been relaxed or massaged. This practice can improve your range of motion and help strengthen and heal reoccurring injuries. The deep breathing you’ll learn during the practice is also a powerful trigger for the parasympathetic nervous system. This is connected to a number of benefits including improved blood pressure, digestion, sleep and immune function. What better tool to have as a new mum?

About the Author

Narelle King is our guest blogger. Narelle is a mum to two children, wellness coach and Yin & Nidra Yoga instructor for Simply Happy. She helps mums to implement routines to save them time so they can start to use tools like Yin & Nidra Yoga to help them rest and heal from constantly living in stress mode. 

Why not try the SimplyHappy online yoga studio? It’s an easy way to access restorative yoga nidra and yin yoga practices, and connect with other new mums! The online studie is flexible, so you can connect and practice when it suits YOU.

For more inforation about how Narelle can help you in your motherhood journey, check out her website https://simplyhappy.com.au/

Blog

7 Ways To Boost Your Health and Productivity While Working from Home

Are you finding it hard to focus while working from home? Has procrastination got the better of you? Is the call of the laundry or dishes more appealing than that report you are meant to be writing? In this blog, I explore the 7 Ways You Can Boost your Health and Productivity While Working from Home.

 

  1. Clear Desk – Clear Mind

I am a big believer in removing clutter from your desk before getting to work. Now this isn’t an excuse to procrasti-clean. Rather, ensure that you have all the essential things you need in your immediate work area to make the day run smoothly. For me, I make sure I have my diary, to-do-list, a range of pens highlighters and post-it notes (more on this later) and a beverage close by.  By clearing your desk, you can create a fresh start and reduce unnecessary distractions.

 

  1. Write a To-Do-List the Night Before

At the end of your workday, or over the weekend, spend a moment to jot down the important tasks that you need to get done the following day. Writing down a to-do-list means that you won’t use mental energy “trying to remember everything”. It also means that when you get ready to sit down to work the next day, you already have a plan of what you need to do. My to-do-list hack is to write one task that I can easily achieve, so that at the start of my day I can cross something off. It’s mind-game I pay with myself to demonstrate how efficient I am. And it’s so satisfying crossing a task off the list at the start of the day.

 

  1. Eat the Frog

Mark Twain is famously quoted as saying “If the first thing you do in the morning is eat a live frog, you can go through the rest of the day knowing the worst is behind you.” The frog in this context is the biggest and most daunting task on your to-do-list. It can be easy to get side-tracked into all the little tasks and avoid the big ones. You’ll be surprised how much more you can get done when you complete the biggest task first. So go on, Eat that frog!

 

  1. Keep Your Workspace Separate

If its possible, set up an office space in a study or spare room. This way you can “compartmentalize” the time when you are at home and the time when you are at work. Then at the end of the day you can close the door to your “office” and enjoy being at “home”. If you do need to set up your office at the dining table, then have clear boundaries around that space. Set it up and pack it down at the end of the workday. Try to find another space to take breaks so you don’t feel like you are “at work” during your lunch break.

 

  1. What’s a Pomodoro?

The Pomodoro technique is a time-management hack. It was created by Francesco Cirillo who used a tomato shaped timer (Pomodoro is the Italian word for tomato) to improve efficiency and time management.  Using this technique, you set the timer for 25 minutes, start a task, when the timer goes off put a tick on a piece of paper and when you have more than 4 ticks, you can take a break.  Now you can vary the working time limits to whatever suits you. For shorter attention spans, work in 10-15-minute blocks before taking breaks. Work with whatever if best for you.

 

  1. Find Variety in the Everyday

Sometimes there is nothing more boring than feeling as though you are chained to your desk, without freedom to move. This taps into one of our core needs. The Need for VARIETY. (You can read more about the core needs here). The need for variety can mean that we distract ourselves of procrastinate to keep ourselves entertained if a task is particularly arduous. As a visual person I fulfill my need to variety with tones of pens, highlighters and colorful post-it notes on my desk. This gives the option of choosing either the blue or green highlighter to mark tasks off my to-do-list or the pink or yellow post it notes to write a reminder on to.  I also make sure I have variety of beverages on hand, so I don’t get sidetracked thinking “I can’t get to work yet – I don’t have a coffee.” I usually have a coffee, water bottle, a glass of mineral water with lime juice within arms reach so once again, I can choose what I want to drink.

 

  1. MOVE IT!

Sitting for long periods will kill your motivation to work, and your productivity will plummet! When the Pomodoro timer goes off, use this as an opportunity to stand up and stretch and move. Stretch your neck, your arms, your back and your hips. Walk up and down the hallway. Do squats, lunges, star jumps.  Take a walk around the block at lunch time. Get your body moving and blood pumping. A little bit of movement not only breaks up your day, but it can ease postural aches and pains from sitting, improve productivity so you get more done and boost your mood thanks to the endorphins that exercise creates. If its a struggle to leave the house for exercise, try walking around while on the phone to get a bit more movement into your day.

 

By making a few small changes to your routine, you can ensure that working from home is just as, if not more productive than working in the office.