I’m going to cut right to the chase with this post. I am going to be extremely vulnerable and put myself out there and be seen. I hope that in doing so, this will help other mums too.
The transition for motherhood has not been an easy one for me.
I am dealing with postnatal anxiety, which feels like it is impacting every aspect of my ability to cope as a parent, and as a person. I am seeking support from professional services and have an amazing support network in place.
I love my son so much and feel grateful for him every day.
There is just one thing I ask all those out there that have a friend or family member that is a new mum (or even a second on third time mum).
ASK HER HOW SHE IS GOING – REALLY
And ask her this BEFORE you ask about the baby.
She may say she is “fine” and that is OK. Not every person wants to go into the full extend of their psyche. And most often we have trouble asking for help.
But just ask the damn question.
Drop off a meal, groceries, or other personal care products, without her having to ask. Leave it at her door and send her a text message to let her know you are thinking of HER not just her baby.
Call her and talk to her and don’t ask about her baby for the first 10 minutes of the call. Never ask her if she has a “good” baby, or if the baby sleeps through the night. These questions are annoying and dumb.
A new mother is going through a massive change. She has lost her identity, her interests, her paid job, her hobbies. and she has gained a huge responsibility, a job that does not have immediate gratification, no time to figure out her own needs and wants and desires.
So as lockdowns start to lift and you want to visit your first who had a baby during the pandemic, maybe ask to hold her first.